Preseason T.A.P. Reminder

September 9, 2010

Get ready fellas. T.A.P.(tight ass pants) season is almost upon us. As the warm summer months come to a close, hot girls finally ditch their rompers and sophie shorts (those ugly ass camp shorts that most likely have some retarded message scrawled on the butt). College campuses around the country finally become saturated with ’em and lets face it, these things are eye candies fit for the gods. Girls use them to keep warm, and guys can take advantage of their butts looking great. Everybody wins.

In preparation for tap season, I would just like to rehearse the basics for everyone out there. The long island jewish girls will be tappin along to the tune of their converse shoes, while the athletes have on their nike shox ready for the gym. Everyone else will have their taps tucked securely in place by their uggs. Rainy days bring all girls together since all taps come with a side order of rain boots (polka dotted ones are a sorority girl favorite although plaid ones are making a comeback.)

We here at the think tank are committed to keeping all of you up to date with all tap revelations, including the start of tap season (though you should all be able to tell on your own). Just wait for that autumn day when you notice your neck start to hurt. This slight discomfort is most certainly a result of an abnormal number of girls’ butts looking great and your inability to keep from helping yourself to a second look at those taps. So as the glow of summer fades, and the gloom of winter sets in, prepare to take solace in the endless supply of taps filling your soul and warming your hearts. Fellas, stay alert and keep your head on a swivel because tap season is almost upon us.


The Romper Rant [fashion?]

August 30, 2010

Seriously girls, what is going on with this romper fad? I once thought that leggings and Uggs were the all-time low for sorority girl fashion… rompers have since proven me wrong. Many male readers may have no idea what a romper is, but after viewing a picture might recognize the pain I feel. This jumper/shorts fusion depletes my college-student vocabulary to one simple word – why?

Hot girl and woman-beast alike look stupid in rompers

First of all, the romper is highly inefficient. I have no idea how one goes about working their way into one of these things, but it cant be easy. I am inclined to think that it must be something like sewing your shorts to your shirt and then jumping in through the top of the shirt. And then what if you have to pee? It has to be an tedious process. And fixing a wedgie or twisted underwear waistband? Forget about it. You better make sure your shit is set and good to go before for you put that thing on.

You might argue that similar problems are present with other female clothing options, which may in fact be true. But I counter with my next, most emphatic point – they just straight up look stupid. Seriously they look like something a little child would wear, only missing a flap on the butt. Or something a fat grandma would wear to the beach to keep the sand out of her diaper. And unless you have perfect posture, slender legs, and a perfectly shaped romper with precisely placed and angled elastic band (?) around the waist, they aren’t doing your body any favors either.

Maybe its me, but I just don’t see the appeal on any level. At least leggings keep you warm and make your butt look good. Come on girls, you’re better than this.