Coming from someone who knows a lot about being really dirty, let me tell you, this stuff can bring you back from the deepest depths of utter filth up to the lofty heights of hygienic triumph. The soap provides a rich creamy lather that is nothing short of decadence. It not only cleans your skin, but also hydrates it, leaving you feeling fresh, soft and smooth, eliminating the need for any extra-curricular moisturizing.
This stuff comes in two manly, non-overpowering scents, Double Impact (blue) and Livewire (green). I prefer the blue, but appreciate the availability of the choice. Although it comes in 10 oz or 12 oz bottles, worry not — a little goes a long way. Just a rounded teaspoon’s worth in the palm of your hand makes for the aforementioned rich creamy lather all over your body. Reasonably priced between 4 and 5 dollars, Dry Skin Defense actually saves you money, as the soap eliminates the need for the use of lotion, except of course for masturbation. And if you’re really into the all-in-one concept, you could, in theory, use the soap to masturbate. Although I probably wouldn’t recommend it, the texture and lubrication elements are certainly there.
Basically, I love this stuff, and anyone who tries it will love it too. If the consistent hilarity of Old Spice advertising isn’t enough to make you buy their brand, the quality of their product certainly should be. 5 out of 5 soft, smooth, and sparkling clean stars.