Rank or Dank: Horrendous Jingles [rank or dank]

September 18, 2010

 

"All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies..." (cheap pun, i know. Whatever. Beyonce is HOT)

 

People are suckers for advertising. You could take the world’s dumbest, most unnecessary product, give it a catchy jingle, and the masses will go berserk for it. I mean, Chili’s has sold millions of baby back ribs by ripping off Tommy James’s “Draggin’ The Line.” Oscar Meyer literally got people to sing about their suppressed desires to be weiners. It seems too easy, right? Not quite.

There are a lot of products and companies out there that employ some pretty terrible jingles. Of course, there is a difference between using a terrible jingle that’ so bad it’s actually good and using one that is just flat-out shit. And thats what The Tokyo Think Tank is here for: To help you discern the rank from the daNk!

Hit the jump to see what’s good!!! Read the rest of this entry »


Rank or Dank: Antacids [rank or dank]

September 16, 2010

pointing to heartburn or crushing tomato in cleavage?

Booze. Cigarettes. Greasy food. The college lifestyle is quite awesome, but not without its drawbacks. I know my diet of Kentucky Gentleman, Camel lights and taco bell hasn’t exactly done wonders for my epigastrium. Heartburn’s a bitch. And just like most other things in life, there’s a rank way and a dank way to beat the burn.

(note: i will only examine over-the-counter, instant relief remedies. I have no concern for what irreparable damage i might be doing to my esophogal lining or what diseases I’m setting myself up for 20 years down the road. I’m all about the here and now. Let’s party.)

Hit the jump for cooling relief!!! Read the rest of this entry »


Rank or dank: stand-up comedians [rank or dank]

September 12, 2010

Rank – adj. Having a foul or offensive odor. Sucks ass.

Dank – adj. What is good. Im talking about dank like the fellas over at daNk ideas.

A new featured column, rank or dank will seek out the best of the best and the bottom of the barrel in all markets and industries. This is for you, our dear readers. Hopefully our highly opinionated opinions will help you discern the dank dank from the stank rank.

This edition: Stand-up comedians.

A field I’m fairly familiar with, stand-up comedy always has and always will have a dichotomy of talentless hacks and adroitly funny fellows. Click the jump to find out what’s good!

The Rank

International hand gesture for "I'm a douchebag"

Dane Cook

Click the jump to find out what’s good!

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