Professoro: A Parody

December 1, 2011

typical law school professor

Hello, world! I know it’s been a while for my tens of fans, so let me catch you up a bit.

After graduating college, I decided to go to law school. Two months in, i dropped out. When people ask why, i always say something like, “it wasn’t for me.” (which is just a friendly way of saying that it SUCKED ASS) I’m now holding down a big-boy job, and after a busy first month, i finally have some time to get the Think Tank back up and running.

For my triumphant return, i present to you the one productive thing inspired by my short pursuit of a legal career — a song parody.

Here is “Professoro” to the tune of “Alejandro” by Lady GaGa (watch vid below if you need to get reacquainted with the tune)

“Professoro” by G-Man


I know that we are young,
And i know that you may quiz me,
But i just can’t answer this question right now,


She’s got both hands,
On her keyboard.
And she won’t look at you, won’t look at you.
She hides facebook,
On her laptop.
She’s got e-mail in a-nother window too


You know that i love statutes,
And briefing cases to boot.
But if it is me you must choose,


Don’t call my name, don’t call my name, professoro.
I didn’t read, I’m unprepared, ¡Lo siento!
Don’t wanna miss, don’t wanna blush,
Just click that powerpoint and hush!
Don’t call my name, don’t call my name, professoro.





Lady Gaga: Famous AND Ugly? [unexplained]

September 19, 2010

I’ll admit it, I like Lady Gaga’s music. Her songs are catchy as shit and fun to belt out during a drunken night at the bar (not to mention they inspire a great deal of hilarious sorority girl behavior). However, there is one thing that separates Lady Gaga from the rest of her class of relatively talentless celebrities — the bitch is BUTT UGLY. I’m talking mistaken-for-homeless, frighten-small-children, dont-look-at-while-eating ugly. So, as an explainer of the unexplained, I take on my toughest question yet: How is Lady Gaga so famous when she looks like this?

Don't stare directly into it!

Hit the jump to find out! (no more pictures, I promise)

Read the rest of this entry »